Phones and Control

There seems to be a general agreement that 2016 was an awful year for the planet and for the people in it. That doesn’t, of course, mean that it was bad for you and I – although some of the big national and global things that happened probably impacted how it turned out for each of us.

What does this all mean for our ability to feel in control? And how does that even matter?

Well, try as we might, it is built into us to need to feel some sense of control over things. Depending on the scale at which we are working, and depending on where we are feeling most vulnerable, we will attempt to impose some control in some way so that we can feel comfortable with what is happening. Or at least feel that we can cope with what is going on around us.

Oddly, this is why we see so many people walking around with phones in their hands or headphones stuffed in their ears. Years ago this feeling of control and comfort was probably provided by smoking a cigarette. As that has become less acceptable, the phone has replaced the cigarette as an adult “comfort blanket”. I’m not intending to be patronising or superior about this. I do it too! When bored, or distracted, or between things, or uncomfortably alone – we get out our phone to see if we have any new messages or content to give us a nice endorphin rush.

Here’s a spontaneous thought. If we left our phone at home and went out – what would we do instead of getting our phone out to check it? Where would we feel most out of control and most vulnerable? And what would we gain or lose from not having the phone with us?

OK, I can hear you breathing very shallowly at the thought (or is that me I can hear?) A first step would be to take the phone with you, but not take it out of your pocket or bag. Don’t check it for at least an hour. Be conscious of the times when you are tempted to check it. What is happening? Why do you feel the need to do it? What is the next thing that comes to mind to allay that response?

Food for thought.

Are we living in a smart phone addicted world? Answers welcome in the comments.

Also published on Medium.