The Coaching 30: #2 – Handling a crisis

OK, so you have a crisis on your hands. And then that is followed with another crisis. You are really clear that the challenge for you above everything else is to find a way to avoid feeling sorry for yourself. Finding a way to ensure that you don’t start to look for as many things going wrong as you can. The slippery slope into pity is easy to slide down. So, what do you do to counter this?

Well, many people advocate positive thinking and taking your mind off what is happening. But that amounts to a process of denial. Ignoring negative feelings doesn’t make them go away. They just end up being submerged and surface sooner or later.

One solution, which creates a helpful balance, is to use a small notebook. If you already keep a daily journal then you could use that. Take two facing pages. At the top of the first page write “Pity Page” and write down everything that is going wrong for you – ensure that you get out all of the associated negative feelings too. Once you get to the bottom of the page you need to stop! Don’t be tempted to go onto a further page. The next page needs to have the following title at the top – “Passion Page”. Here you can write down everything that is going well for you, everything for which you can be grateful, everything you have done that was good. No matter how negative you feel, there will always be something great – even if it is the sun in the sky or the food on the table. Again, work to the bottom of the page and then stop.

You’ve had the opportunity to express some of those negative feelings, but have also balanced that out with the passion of living. Now take a deep breath and move on to the next thing!