Do I listen to my head, my heart or my intuition?

Often, when coaching a client where the problem is a thorny one, without an obvious answer; I will set the issue within the framework of head, heart and gut. It’s a commonly used approach, and the kind of issues which clients bring to coaching are so often the thorny ones. If they weren’t, the client could fix it themselves!

Asking the client to work with thinking – with the sense of logic that comes from pulling the problem apart and looking at the facts – is fairly straightforward. This is the space where we look at the pros and cons of the issue, we look at it from different perspectives. Often this can really help. But it doesn’t always provide the answer, or even provide all of the problem.

So, the next step is to move from the head down into the heart. Get in touch with the feelings about this issue. How do we feel about the set of pros and cons. What is our heart telling us about the problem and where is it moving us on the decision that needs to be made? Often, the path for the head and heart are at opposite points.

This is where the third perspective emerges. Asking the client to get in touch with their intuition brings a deeper way to look into the problem. Leaving aside our thoughts and feelings, is there a deeper voice, a still small and quiet voice within us that is giving us a steer? It’s surprising how easily clients tap into this voice and are able to articulate what it is telling them. As they speak their truth, their whole demeanour changes and they often lean forwards, their facial expression becomes much more open and assertive as they say what they hear.

It’s beautifully transformational. That third layer of understanding can bring a level of understanding of the challenge that makes it possible to move forward and into a clear decision.

All that is left for me to do then, is to get the client to step back from the problem – weigh up the three voices that they have heard and check in with themselves to see how they feel about where they have reached with the intuitive voice. Is any of the discomfort that they have left coming from the trepidation of stepping out of comfort or is it the fear that this may be wrong? Working through those feelings of unease is important to embed the path or decision that is taken – with the reassurance that what underpins this is the push to courage, rather than any residual feelings that the decision is the wrong one.

Also published on Medium.